Someone you know is Gay, Lesbian, or
Bisexual...
This brochure is prepared for students. It is also intended
as a resource for faculty and staff members of the University community.
"What is Sexual Orientation?"
No one knows what determines sexual orientation. However,
everyone has the potential to become attracted to and form relationships with someone of
the opposite or the same sex. Sexual orientation refers to a person's capacity for sexual
feelings, emotional ties, and satisfaction. Homosexuals (who prefer to be called
"gay" if men or "lesbian" if women) are physically and emotionally
attracted to those of the same sex. Heterosexuals are attracted to persons of the opposite
sex, while bisexuals are attracted to persons of either sex.
Throughout life people may engage in a variety of relationships and sexual behaviors
common to people of a homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual orientation. Regardless of
sexual orientation, each person forms relationships based on several motivations,
including common interests, religious beliefs, emotional compatibility, and physical
attraction.
"Why are some people gay or
lesbian?"
Sexual orientation is a basic part of a person's identity.
Whether this results from biological or environmental factors or both is unclear. Some
researchers suggest that one's basic sexual orientation is determined before birth or very
early in life. Discovering one's sexual orientation and sexual behavior may be a lifelong
process.
"Isn't it easy to spot someone who is
gay, lesbian, or bisexual?"
It is estimated that at least 10 percent of adults in the
U.S. have engaged in same-sex sexual behavior or consider themselves to be of a homosexual
orientation. They come from all ethnic groups, races, professions, geographical regions,
and religious backgrounds. A man or woman's behavior, appearance, or family background
does not automatically identify him or her as having a specific sexual orientation.
Heterosexual, lesbian, gay, and bisexual staff, faculty, and students are part of and make
an important contribution to the community.
Fear of gay men and lesbians--known as homophobia--exists among people who have
difficulty accepting the very idea of homosexuality. Ignorance about homosexuality can
foster hurtful stereotypes and can lead to restrictive laws and institutional
What is "Coming Out"?
Individuals who recognize and accept their sexual orientation
are likely to be more comfortable with their sexuality. For lesbians, gays, and bisexuals,
this process of self-acceptance may be the first stage of "coming out." In the
second step, the individual decides whether or not to come out to family, friends, and
each new acquaintance. This process is often misunderstood by heterosexuals and
homosexuals who have not yet come out.
"Why is it difficult to talk about
being gay, lesbian, or bisexual?"
Some people have always known and accepted that they are gay
or lesbian. Others, because of personal conflicts, social attitudes, or fear of rejection,
take longer to recognize and accept their sexual orientation. Therefore, some gays and
lesbians may not be open about their sexual orientation while in college. During the
process of accepting their own sexual orientation, many people are surprised to find there
are many other gays and lesbians around them. Coming out can be a liberating process of
discovering oneself and new friends.
SOME COMMON QUESTIONS
Roommates
"What do I do if I'm gay, lesbian, or
bisexual and I am not sure if I should tell my roommate or a close friend?"
Decide for yourself if you want to share something personal
with a friend or roommate. Pick a time to discuss it when you are not under academic
pressure. Your roommate may need time to listen and respond to what you say. Ask friends
for advice. If you need to discuss other living arrangements, talk with staff members
in your residential college, the Office of the Dean of Students, or the Housing Office.
"What do I do if my roommate is gay,
lesbian, or bisexual?"
Friendship, not sexual orientation, should be the basis of
your relationship. Be honest with yourself and your roommate if you cannot accept his or
her sexual orientation. Act in a friendly rather than a hostile and rejecting manner. Your
roommate is not a threat to your own sexuality or social interests. If you need to discuss
alternative living arrangements, talk with staff members in your residential college, the
Office of the Dean of Students, or the Housing Office.
Coming Out to Parents,
Friends, or Coworkers
"How can I tell others who I am (or
about my sexual orientation)?"
Think through what you need to say about coming out. Seek out
peers who can be supportive or talk to a counselor. Suggest reading material; it can help
answer many questions your parents, friends, or coworkers may have. Role playing with a
friend can be useful in clarifying what you want to say about yourself. Be patient and
give parents and friends time to accept what you say.
"How should I act if a
friend/colleague tells me he/she is gay, lesbian, or bisexual?"
Be yourself and a friend. Discuss the issue and ask questions
if you do not know what to do or say. Reading material can help answer some of your
questions.
Harassment from Peers
"What do I do if I receive obscene or
insulting anonymous phone calls, or receive physical or verbal abuse?"
If you feel physically endangered, contact the Police. Find
peers, friends, and professional counselors with whom you can talk.
Medical Care
"Where do I go if I have questions
about my own or my partner's sexual health?"
Remember, medical records and visits for any reason are
confidential. Be informed about safer sex practices and
prevention of HIV transmission. It is your responsibility to protect yourself against AIDS
and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Academic Atmosphere
"To whom do I turn if my professor or
preceptor makes inappropriate comments about sexual orientation?"
A homophobic atmosphere is not acceptable. If you find
professors' or staff members' remarks derogatory, talk to the person either alone or with
classmates who feel the same way. Or, you can go either to the Office of the Dean of the
College or to a counselor who will advise you on how to handle the situation.
"To whom do I turn if my professor or
preceptor makes a pass at me?"
Sexual relationships between a student and professors,
preceptors, or staff members are inadvisable. If you are upset by an incident or need help
in dealing with a situation, go to the Office of the Dean of the Faculty, or any other
confidential counselor within the University.
"What do I do if I'm interested in
writing a paper, junior paper, senior thesis, or dissertation related to issues of sexual
orientation?"
Talk to an academic adviser.
* This article is based loosely on the SHARE Program and Health Education booklet
from McCosh Health Center,
Princeton University. The specific references to Princeton have been
removed to make it more appropriate to any university community.
