Shelly Roberts

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Baby Dykes by Shelly Roberts

You know them; you know their work. You've laughed with them, cheered with them, admired them, and been in awe of them. Now renowned humorist Shelly Roberts (Roberts Rules for Lesbian Living) reintroduces you to a who's who of lesbian glitterati as you've never seen them before--as children! This collection of photographs from the earliest days of our lesbian leaders is enchanting, humanizing, and hilarious, and it reminds us that whoever we are, once we were all children. Before she was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives, Tammy Baldwin faced the cameras wearing little but an utterly beguiling smile. Before founding Spinsters Ink, Joan Drury found her belly button. The irrepressible publisher, editor, and writer Barbara Grier displayed an early gift for grabbing attention. And Essence magazine executive editor Linda Villarosa shows clearly that she has always been the epitome of poise. Toni Armstrong Jr. gets wet, Alison Bechdel looks very serious, Nicole Conn butches it up, Tee Corrine goes Hawaiian, Lillian Faderman curtsies nicely, Carole Midgen hits the beach, and Patricia Nell Warren rocks out. From first pets to first dress, summer camp to the baseball diamond, get a glimpse of these women and others, including Lesla Newman, Suzanne Westenhoefer, and Sheila James Kuehl as they were before they became larger than life.

About the Author

Shelly Roberts's internationally syndicated column, Roberts' Rules is read by over a million lesbians, gay men, and their allies throughout the United States, Canada, Britain, Australia, the Netherlands, Scotland, and Japan. Her books, Roberts' Rules of Lesbian Living, Roberts' Rules of Lesbian Breakups, The Dyke Detector, and Hey, Mom, Guess What have all been international best-sellers. From her home in Atlanta, she continues her work of not letting us take ourselves too seriously.

Roberts Rules of Lesbian Breakups
by Shelly Roberts

Syndicated columnist Shelly Roberts, "the Lesbian Erma Bombeck, " and author of the wildly popular Roberts' Rules of Lesbian Living, now turns her attention to splitting up, dyke style. This guide presents a collection of wry, ironic, humorous little nuggets of wisdom to help with this painful yet inescapable rite of passage in every lesbian's life.

"Shelly Roberts, lesbian humor columnist extraordinaire turns her gimlet eye and wicked wit to breaking up, lesbian style. Roberts' Rules of Lesbian Break-ups is an uproarious look at the division of friends and furniture that comes with lesbian break-ups. "Revenge is having her dog follow you home." Buy two copies of this book -- then you won't have to fight over who gets to keep it." -- The Publisher

Shelly Roberts

This site hosts an extensive set of musings by Shelly Roberts starting in 1995.

Robert's Rules

By Shelly Roberts, Self-Help Magazine

Excerpt:

Lesbian Sex? Unheard Of

David, who is now 70, spending these days on a Carolina island, sipping coconut milk drinks, checked in after a few years of absence. And he reminded me of something I meant to share.

I worked for David in the New York ad trade, when he was a mere 62.

David was heading toward me one morning, when I realized something was different. Not wanting to make that stupid mistake when confronted with this physiognomous anomaly (which should cover your word-a-day exercises for this afternoon, Girls and Boys) of saying, "New haircut?" when someone just had a nose job, I studied his face.

Mustache! You shaved your mustache!"

Yep. When I was eighteen," the sexagenarian said. "I looked in the mirror at my baby face, and said, `A mustache would make me look older.' This morning, as I was looking in the mirror again, and I realized it worked!"

Now this is related to lesbian sex, kiddies. Be patient...

From ShowIdeas.com, the online magazine for Guest and Show ideas.

This site has contact and booking information.

Excerpt:

Let humorist Shelly Roberts amuse your audience with funny advice about dating for lesbians.

Contrary to popular opinion, lesbian dating is not about marrying, mating, coupling, or renting a U-Haul --although it might lead to any of those activities. It's about getting to know other lesbians, exploring your options, just having fun. Is it common? Hardly. It's so uncommon, in fact, the lesbian nation needs a primer to give us much needed pointer, such as "...it's never a good idea to ask someone to marry you before the first date" or "Your mother only warned you about calling boys first." Filled with humor, Roberts gives actual, practical advice in a series of pithy jokes, meditations, and humorous observations.

	Finer points of etiquette ("If you don't want to marry her, don't ask her to the movies")
	Finer points of advice ("To win her, woo her dog")
	New truisms ("Going out to dinner is the only way some single lesbians ever get to eat a meal")
	Lesbian uniqueness ("lesbians are the only ones who find it necessary to break up with a date")

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